Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Mother’s Day Secret

Mother’s Day is celebrated the second Sunday in May in the United States.  It is a big deal and mothers are put foremost into the minds of the populace and supposedly their children.  There is, however, one very big secret—and it is not what their children are getting them or doing for them on Mother’s Day.   

The big secret that is not supposed to be thought or spoken is:  Not all mothers are deserving of a special day.   

Yes, I said it out loud and in written form—not all mothers are deserving of a day, because there are many mothers who are terrible mothers.   

Okay, I get that I may have just lost a huge number of my readers.  To those of you who are still here, that unfortunately probably means that you know what I am talking about.  If you know what I mean, then I am truly sorry if that means that your mother or someone you know deserves a day of unrecognition.   

What mothers am I talking about?  Some examples are mothers who abuse and neglect their children.  They can verbally or sexually abuse or otherwise use their children.  There are mothers who kill their children and there are mothers who kill the souls of their children.  Feel free to insert your own examples from your own life here.   

That said, everybody realizes no mother is perfect.  All mothers have made mistakes and many have been forgiven by their children for their deeds or their omissions.  Perhaps, they recognized their shortcomings and may have apologized to their children.  I think that is one of the signs of a good mother.  A person who is willing to admit those things that nagged their conscience.   

I am writing this to say to children, young or old, who have suffered terribly under their mothers be they alive or dead, you are not alone.  You are not the only person who hates this day and wishes that it wasn’t on the calendar.   

Maybe your mother is still alive and you go to the store trying to find a Mother’s Day card that doesn’t say anything.  Or maybe you go to the store and buy a card that is all gushy and says what you know is a blatant lie, because maybe you are still trying to fit in, or be accepted or keep peace within your family.   

Maybe you do not want your friends, extended family or coworkers to know that you are or were abused, neglected or an unloved child—even if you are an adult.   

I am not judging you for whatever choices you make regarding this day.  Anything that helps you through it I am for.  More power to you.   

If you are an individual who decided to leave and not to participate with the person called by others your mother … more power to you, too.   

I just mainly wanted all of us fellow suffers to know that there are those of us who share the lifeboat with you.  It is a sad place to be when you know that you were unloved, unwanted, uncared for or any other combination of circumstances.   

I pray, that you do not shoulder the guilt your mother tried to lay on you and that you have been able to learn to love yourself and those around you.  I hope that if you, man or woman, have children that your mother taught you exactly how not to be a mother and that you have been able to pattern yourself after a much better role model and that you can or have become a wonderful mother, father, aunt, uncle or friend to your own children or the children of others.   

To the young people who may be reading this, I hope that you will seek out women who embrace you and see you as the person you are and can become.  I wish you a fulfilling life surrounded by people who love you.  I hope that you learn to love and to be loved, because you are a human being a person who deserves a spot on this planet we call Earth.  You have a place just because you are and I pray that you can shrug off the guilt your mother tried to place on you.   

For those of you who are or were privileged to have good mothers be thankful and may you enjoy this day.   

For the rest of us, God bless us one and all and thank God we have a whole year before we get back to Mother’s Day.  May you, and I, gain a greater degree of strength by then.   

© Patty F. Cooper, Elizabethton, Tennessee, May 10th, 2015
All Rights Reserved